If I told you it was absolutely possible to live the life you crave, the one you deserve to live, feeling free and empowered to create whatever you desire, would your first thought be, “Awesome, where do I sign up?!”? Or would you immediately go to, “Come on, Lizzie, that doesn’t sound realistic. I’ve got responsibilities I have to take care of, and focusing on my dreams didn’t make the cut.”
Yes, you do have responsibilities. But what if most of what you’re doing is just what you’ve been told you’re supposed to do and not what you’re meant to do? What if there was a way to live more fully without abandoning the life you’ve created?
I bet there’s a little voice inside you that knows there is some truth to this. Maybe you ended up where you are unconsciously. Or maybe you very consciously worked to create the life you have, yet something still feels off and you’re struggling for that “one missing piece” (a soul mate, the “right” job, a waist size…um, all of the above?).
I felt that way for years. And worked my ass off to continually go after the next missing piece. What I wish I knew then is that I should have looked within instead. I should have spent my time and money on really getting to know who I am instead of who I needed to be.
I went to high school knowing I’d go to college. Then I went to college knowing I’d get a job. Then, after being in my career for a decade, the choice of what was next was finally up to me. But by then, I was paralyzed by choices or fear or just not knowing what direction to go next. There’s the path I knew I didn’t want and then there was everything else.
So I changed jobs a few times, thinking that would solve it. That next job was going to be the one that made me feel like I had it all again. But it wasn’t the job – it was me. I had changed, and now what I wanted was different.
That void I experienced was my deep yearning to know myself better; to know what I like, what I enjoy, what fills my soul.
You’d think we would just know these things, but often we have no idea. We’ve been so busy suppressing everything that wasn’t accepted by those around us for so long, figuring out our true interests and desires takes a bit of work. At least it did for me.
When I uncovered my personal values and finally understood what I needed in my life to be happy, everything got better. I had more love, patience, kindness, and creativity to share. No one was abandoned after my deep interpersonal work; in fact, everyone was embraced with more warmth and compassion because I embraced myself with more warmth and compassion.
When we try to fill the void by doing more “stuff” or accomplishing more “goals,” we are in effect just doing busy work to bury the truth that is so desperately trying to be heard. Covering it up again and again trying to get this feeling of “something’s missing” to go away. Guess what? It’s not going to go away until you embrace and acknowledge what your soul needs to feel whole.
On my own, before my six-month soul-finding journey, I would have had no idea where to start on this exercise. It was way too far away for me to really comprehend. You may be there too.
That is where a trained professional can help. And you don’t need six months to get to know your own life values, you need six weeks. Life coaching isn’t someone who has a perfect life telling you what to do. It’s someone who has studied the human mind, been through the excuses, the doubt and the self-sabotage, and come out the other end. It’s someone who knows how to navigate thoughts, feelings and fears and can help you develop the tools and mental framework to get past whatever holds you back, both while you’re working with them and afterward.
I know. Everyone knows a life coach who has no business being a life coach. Like your sister’s best friend from college who is a mess herself but also now life coaching. Listen, there are bad doctors, bad chefs, bad hairdressers. But does that stop you from finding a good doctor, restaurant or stylist? Nope, you just find one you like, trust and respect. This is no different.
I’m trying to make that process easier by curating a group of hand-picked referred and vetted coaches so you can get on with getting the help you need. Give it a go -- a real go -- and find someone you connect with. It’s okay to be honest that you’re skeptical -- see how the coach responds.
This morning I interviewed a coach for Collective Gain, and I want to leave you with some words he shared with me about his own transformation. “I just couldn’t keep going as I was, So I hired a coach to help me move forward in my life. And I learned that the first step in finding fulfillment and happiness was faith. I had to let go of expectation and judgment, and trust enough to take that first step. Turns out my fear was really just excitement about what could be, and when I stepped into it, I stepped into a whole new level of possibility. Ultimately, I discovered I was capable of finding love again, something I didn’t think was possible. Life is good, all because I took that first step and trusted that life could be better and that someone could help me get there.”
My goal isn’t to sell you. My goal is to help you see that your life can be much better too. This is your one life -- every minute is precious and each day a gift. Why not live with a sense of peace and ease because you’re living in harmony with yourself and those around you? It feels so good.
Get your mind right. Get your life right.
Interested in a coach who can help you identify your values, vision for your life (from your soul's perspective) and clear some limiting BS? Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org . Collective Gain will be live in a few weeks, but if you want a contact now, happy to help.