What I learned by breathing into my pelvic bowl.
I speak to dozens of coaches each week -- all through referral from other topnotch life coaches and guides -- to find the best of the best for Collective Gain. But last Friday’s call with one of these expert mind-mentors took me by surprise.
It started out like any call, getting to know one another, me leading the questions around what they do, why they do it, how they want to serve people, who their ideal clients are … and then, since this coach specifically works with women to help them awaken their beauty and feminine majesty, I asked, “Well, can you show me what you mean by awakening the feminine? How do you do that over Skype?”
The breathing and visualization exercise that followed triggered a flurry of aha moments. “Close your eyes, and get still. Breathe deeply and feel the breath passing through your chest, down into your stomach. With this next breath, imagine the breath, full of love and life, moving down into your pelvic bowl … filling it … expanding it.” At this point, I’ll be honest, I was fighting some resistance. I had never heard of my pelvic bowl or really thought about it much, outside of the obvious. But I went with it, trusting it was an experience I needed to have so I could help understand what she could offer other women. Deep breath, after deep breath imagining it filling my pelvic bowl, I started to feel something. And not what you may be thinking...
What happened next shocked me.
After a few breaths, I immediately had a new perspective of gratitude for my pelvic bowl -- no, really. The place where my children were conceived. Where LIFE itself was created. It was like I finally said thank you. I had never acknowledged my womb for all it had given me. It may sound strange -- thank a body part? -- but it didn’t feel strange. It felt due.
I experienced great healing and enormous gratitude for the gifts I had been given -- and a reminder of how connected we are with every breath to every cell and how at any time we can access that connection and rest in the safety and comfort within.
I encourage you to try it. Whether you’ve had kids or not. Try it to acknowledge where you are and heal any feelings that aren’t full of compassion for what is. Pregnant? Yes! Breath gratitude and joy down to that little baby, that miracle excited to enter this world as a new being full of possibility.
If you haven't had kids yet, rest in gratitude for all the orgasms and pleasure you've experienced. Haven't had one of those, email me stat and let's get you in contact with this coach. That's just not right.
If you’ve struggled to have kids, give yourself permission to be angry and try to move into compassion for what is … for your womb and what it’s able to offer. While I don’t have experience with infertility, I do have experience with healing what I wasn’t given, wanted so badly and needed to give myself. The process of directly acknowledging, letting it be okay and then showering myself with love and compassion for what is -- removing judgment and moving into peaceful acceptance -- has helped me greatly in other areas of my life too. It’s not easy and not always full of peace and gratitude, but it gives me a place to return when I start to build resentment for what isn’t.
This sense of gratitude, even a week later, hasn’t left me. I now live with a new appreciation for the pure magic that is life. Wow. Just wow.
And the awakening didn’t stop there. This coach also shared a new perspective that ended up shifting my current biggest block to really living the life of my dreams.
It was exactly what I needed to hear to continue to heal and unlock my full potential.
Without knowing my personal story -- I am the breadwinner, a go-getter, a take-charge type of gal -- she told me that to awaken the feminine means to step into vulnerability. Not that vulnerability defines you as a woman -- in fact, everyone, male and female, is part feminine and part masculine -- but it’s important not to lose sight of your femininity either. It’s about receiving, without judgment, control or expectation, and enjoying … key word here, enjoying … the experience of receiving.
Think about it.
How many times do we discount a compliment? “Your butt looks great in those jeans!” “Oh, no way, I still have five pounds of baby weight!”
How many times do we turn down that nice favor someone is trying to do for us? “Would you like help with your groceries?” “Oh, no, I’m fine, thank you!” All while you juggle three kids, two of whom are screaming and whacking each other, and struggle with 100 pounds of food to haul to the car and load.
Do you ever think when making love, “When is this going to be over, I have so many other things to be doing … hmm, how can I speed this along?” Aiy! I have, and not because it didn't feel good, because I wasn't willing to step into the present, surrender and enjoy the gift... to rest in gratitude for the gift of pleasure, feeling of love and connection to another human being.
Why do we do this? I suspect it has something to do with the big V-word -- no, not that V-word -- vulnerability. Something that I struggle with and know many of my awesome friends (woot woot!) do too. Being able to allow someone to do something for us and then completely let go and enjoy the experience of receiving that gift. Not trying to judge it, change it, suggest they gift it differently ... you know you’ve done this too. Instead, try actually letting down your walls and opening up your mind and body to experience pleasure -- sexual or emotional. Allow for the joy to flow without trying to control it. Allow someone else to express themselves with a gift for you and appreciate the way they want to give it -- receiving and experiencing it with an open mind, curiosity and gratitude.
Let’s just say that Saturday night after I made friends with my pelvic bowl was one for the record books. My husband was asking for the number of that coach so he could thank her for giving him his wife back. Amen! Amen, sister! I thank her as well. It’s amazing how a shift in perspective can dramatically improve your every day, your every moment.
Each time I find myself putting up walls or closing myself off to a gift that someone else is offering, I consciously have to remind myself to ask my walls to come down and allow myself to open myself to a new experience.
I encourage you to try it. Seriously, now, it takes three minutes -- try it! See what comes to mind for you. Whatever happens, it offers clues as to what you need to heal. For me it’s vulnerability and to live in gratitude; for you, it may bring up something totally different. But this knowledge of where you have blocks and what needs your healing, love and compassion, is within. You just have to take a minute to connect and be open to what comes up. Connect with breath. Start the inner dialog with an open-hearted “I am here for you”… and see what is revealed.
Here’s to breathing into our pelvic bowls and living a life full of pleasure! Welcome it, appreciate it and enjoy.
And thank goodness for the brave people who help us discover what we don’t see. So many of these coaches and guides are gifts to help teach us what we didn’t learn in the last 30+ years and I am incredibly grateful that they share their unique talents and gifts with the rest of us.
If you’re interested in being connected to this coach, email me and I can make the introduction. No judgement, pure excitement for can be: firstname.lastname@example.org.